I am taking back my youth. No longer will I be your little Spanish girl who you love. I am me. I am not like my sisters. I am not beautiful. Yet. But I am not in a rush to become someone I’m not. I have begun my own quiet war. On the outside I am a meek little Spanish girl, but on the inside a fire rages within. I do not want to hear the words “I love you, I love you.” I will not become the girl locked up in the ivory tower, or afraid to go out the way Sally is. I will not be chained to a life I did not want. While I am grateful for my family and the life they have provided me, I am no longer willing to be anyone’s target for a good laugh or a good time. I want people to look back and tell stories about me, about how I was the girl who didn’t want to belong. My strength is concealed, invisible to many, but not me. My family and friends will become witnesses of my strength when I leave this place. I will be their voices, you’ll see. I do not want to belong to anyone or anything. I am a part of my family, I am a part of our house on Mango Street and the memories it has given me. They will always be a part of me as well. However I am much too strong to stay here forever. I will break free of the chains that bind me to this place. This house made of crumbling brick is just a reminder of what I have been through. It is a sad place and does little to show the memories we made in its four walls. People will talk. They will say I’m a coward and I’m not proud. They will ask how I could do it to my family. No one will understand what it felt like to be suffocating in a world in which I don’t belong. I will no longer be ashamed. I will have a house in which I call a home and it will be all mine. A house all my own.
-Video coming soon! I have to figure out how to use my webcam on this computer!
